{"repo":"giacomo-b/rust-stakeholder","free":true,"listed":false,"github":"https://github.com/giacomo-b/rust-stakeholder","clone":"git clone https://github.com/giacomo-b/rust-stakeholder.git","description":"Generate impressive-looking terminal output to look busy when stakeholders walk by","language":"Rust","stars":2589,"topics":["blazingly-fast","meme","rust"],"license":"MIT","category":"cli-tools","readme_excerpt":"rust-stakeholder SATIRE ALERT : This is a joke project poking fun at impostor syndrome and workplace dynamics in tech. No actual deception recommended! Become an irreplaceable 10x developer in 30 seconds flat Why learn actual skills when you can just look impressive instead? Introducing rust-stakeholder - a CLI tool that generates absolutely meaningless but impressive-looking terminal output to convince everyone you're a coding genius without writing a single line of useful code. \"After using rust-stakeholder, I'm no longer asked about my deadlines but rather for my insights during board meetings.\" - Developer who still hasn't completed their tickets from last sprint Remember, it's not about your actual contribution to the codebase, it's about how complicated your terminal looks when the VP of Engineering walks by. Nothing says \"I'm vital to this company\" like 15 progress bars, cryptic error messages you seem unfazed by, and technical jargon nobody understands. Features that add zero value but look incredibly important - 🖥️ Dazzling development simulations : Make it look like you're solving CERN-level computing problems when you're actually just refreshing Reddit - 🧠 Meaningless jargon generator : Impress with phrases like \"Implemented non-euclidean topology optimization for multi-dimensional data representation\" (no, it doesn't mean anything) - 📊 Convincing progress bars : Nothing says \"I'm working\" like a progress bar slowly advancing while you're in the break room - 🌐 ","default_branch":null,"files":null,"tree":[],"storefront":"/r/giacomo-b","claimed":false,"request_supported":{"post":"https://gitbuyer.com/r/giacomo-b/rust-stakeholder/request-supported","requests":0},"note":"indexed from public GitHub; nothing is for sale on this page. Clone it from GitHub. Paid listings live at /search."}